In July of last year, I hit somewhat of a breaking point. Originally from Utah, my husband’s job took us out to Alabama at the end of December 2016, where we stayed for nine months. At first I loved it – new sights, new people (the kindest in the world!), new things to do. But after a while, I got depressed. I missed my family and friends, I missed cheaper groceries, I missed laying on the grass without ants biting me. I missed structure and purpose. I was in limbo and I stuck emotionally, and on top of that, I just found out we were having our third boy, and I really don’t like boy things. I didn’t want to do anything with my kids. I felt like I lost myself, and I needed an outlet. If I only had something I did for myself, I’d get my me time in and then be a better mom for my boys!
And so this blog was born. It has been wonderful! I have sewn and crafted more than I thought I ever could. I have made friends and connections, joined the wonderful online sewing community and increased my confidence in my creativity. Plus, my boys now know they can ask me to make pretty much anything for them and I’ll do it. 😉
But with all the good, there has been a bad side. You see, to keep up a blog in this day and have followers, you need to promote yourself on social media. By nature I am a wallflower. I have changed a lot and many people are surprised to hear this, but putting myself out there, especially on social media, kind of terrifies me. However, I’ve gone ahead and done it anyway, because this is what you do! And my following has been slowly growing, more people have been viewing my blog, and it has been so fun to see it all happen. Unfortunately, just as if I were taking relieving pain meds a little too long, this source of joy quickly became an addiction.
I can’t possibly count the times I usually go on Facebook and Instagram throughout the day, especially in post days, to see who is liking and commenting on my content. And if I’m not doing that, I am going through my feed myself, seeing what everyone is doing. And I do this all day long. Oh, there’s dishes in the sink? Well too bad, I need to look at this picture. You want me to read a book to you? Hold on while I comment on this post. And at the end of the day I look at what I’ve done and realize I have done absolutely nothing. I crawl into bed and want to cry myself to sleep for all the things I wanted to do but couldn’t. All because of the chatter in my brain to check my Instagram feed just one more time.
So, I’m sobering up. I hope you will understand. My boys need me, and as I’ve been using social media and blogging less and less, I am starting to see a light. I have a lot more growing to do, and I don’t think this will ever be something I’m perfect at, but I’m trying. And part of that trying is taking a break from blogging.
The plan is to step away for now and all of 2019. Only God knows what the future holds for me, so I can’t say what will happen after that.
If you made it through all that, thank you for reading! I love you all and appreciate how every one of you has blessed my life. If you need to contact me do it on the form here or write a comment – I still get emails for these. 🙂
Ciao,
Sunni
